....
3:06 PM
i feel much better now. After close to 2 hours of crying. My eyes feel painful and my nose feels numb.
Not only that, i feel my head heavy while my brain is jumbled up. Oddly this feels normal.
just..fade
4:39 AM
just fade.. Thats the only thing i want. To fade from this cruel truth. The cruelty of sibling rivalry...
i hate this. This depressed feeling, wanting to disappear or fade slowly. Just die.
for the first time. Music has no effect on me. Usually i cheer up listening, no matter how much. I kept crying. Non-stop.
its like the time i knew i blew my chances of getting better grades. Yeah its a bitch.
A TOTAL BITCH YA HEARD MEH?! !! FUCK IT LIFE!!
Everytime i open my eyes. I cry, i find it painful but makes me wonder if i could cry out blood.
Possible..right???
My head hurts, i feel weak. Maybe i might break down and collapse over stress. I hope it happens fast.
When everything crash down, we have to get up alone and battered,pained and broken. So would willingly help you..but would it stay...
1 hour has pass since i cried. Its painful.
1hr 11 minutes and counting.
having constant stress outbreak became as if. Like a daily routine. Its funny really.
Laters....
Labels: pain, problems
i cursed a lot today.
a bitchy day.
I wish...
As i read Fate's post about the rough time shes having in MD.
Made me realize how much i want to be there,
to share those painful moments, to be shun out by strangers for being new.
to feel the same experiance with you guys.
Its true, how much i miss my 5e family. Truth, i see them like my own siblings, my sisters.. my own family. How we all share the
almost same personalities, same choice in food...-
coughsushicough- oh and how we all get hyper everytime we attend Combine Science extra classes; Thus i wonder how in the world he could tolerate the
funny questions mama Qils asked [[ no offenses Qils ]]
The jokes, the...err groping >.> and Fates cookies.
Even Mal and me miss your cookies Fate -sighs- Though im happy that i have Mal in the same class as me but somehow it isnt complete...
I have seen you guys for 2 years of my life, Everyday , Every second and every class. We get to know each other so close that we know each other secrets and allergy.
hahahhaha sweet memories.
in the class im in...not to offend people but..the only person i enjoy talking in english with would be Mal. -sighs-
i miss E.lit, is something that i keep saying everytime i see Miss Seri Ainey or go out from the class when its Combine science class or English class. Geog and Commerce doesnt count all we do is read and they wont allow us to speak what so ever..
I miss Teacher Zaiton -sighs- A new sir came in the class ,
our new geography sir. Every time he opens his mouth to speak, i start distesting geography, mind you i love Geography ok. But this new Sir... totally ruins it.
Did i mention he repeats what ever he said? its annoying. He even thought i got my English O'level as something like a lucky bet against everything like i won a lottery or got a car by mistake.
It offended me...-sighs- What even offended me is the fact...-sighs- people fear me somehow...They acted as if i would eat them up or better as if i was going to snap off their neck in the next 5 minutes -,- . Well not for Mal, ( duh shes used of me meh ) Nisah (Ex 5G student, one of my friends), Fit ( my old class mate when i was form 3) , Muminah (Also my old classmate when i was form 3) , Dizah (Shes my cousin, my sister in crime hahaha), Rina( one of the new students i enjoy talking to) And Winnie ( Shes cool with everything, hahaha)
The reason for them to fear me is...my english?
I'll miss my baby dearly!!! love you
♥
To my Dearest,
You are my Shining armor,
That come and save me
When im lonely and pained.
♥
You possessed the heart of gold,
That only existed in some part of the male population.
Your cheerful, funny and evil -laughs-
♥
Sometimes i wonder if im worthy enough,
To have someone as sweet,true as you.
hahahaha im being cheesy meh.
Dont mind me :D
♥
Though its true that i question myself all the time.
I dont know how to express myself as you did for me.
-sighs-
♥
Some might think your not perfect.
But to me your just too perfect for someone like me.
You like me for my personality and my evil nature.
That's why i said you possessed the heart of gold
♥
Ok that was chessy...
But atleast i tried to express myself...even if its cheesy..
>//////>
Labels: Love
